To love and be loved is undoubtedly a universal
human desire. However, what we mean when we use the term love will be
determined by our love intelligence. So, although marriage may have always
implied some sort of love connection, the historical value of
marriage was its ability to civilize social behaviour, define sexual taboos,
and regulate parental rights and responsibilities.
Traditional marriage in Western society has its origins in ancient
Greek and Roman civilizations and the advent of Christianity. For that we can
be grateful. On her wedding day, a woman (usually young) left her father’s
home. In a formal ceremony the father handed economic and social responsibility
for his daughter to the new male husband. Their union was officially blessed by
a priest of the church. The woman’s special status in marriage was considered
sacrosanct by all mainstream Christian denominations. Monogamy was not only
supported by religion, but was also enshrined in law which protected
inheritance claims of legitimate children.
Great evolutionary leaps in human intelligence and
understanding took place in the twentieth century. There were advances in
science and technology, including depth psychology and neuroscience [more
recently expanding into neuro physics], and the objective exploration of human
consciousness. Massive social change occurred as outcomes of two world wars,
universal adult franchise, and compulsory education for all children. With the
new availability of reliable birth control methods, families reduced in size
and increasing numbers of women embraced careers. Movements for gender and
racial equality, and the legalisation of same sex relationships, culminated in
new laws governing marriage, civil unions, and no-fault divorce. Helping us
adapt to this new reality was the expansion of social media. We had easy access
to our cultural creators of song, music, dance, drama, comedy, writing,
photography, art, fashion and hospitality. At long last human sexuality was
released from bondage and we all had the right, as individuals, to explore our
true identities.
The Love Path offers a theory about the
development of love intelligence which has implications for modern
marriage – legal and de facto, heterosexual and same-sex. I predict that in a
generation or two, partners will only want to stay in long-term commitments if
they feel cherished, admired, and equally valued. In the meantime we can all be
involved in a conversation about how to create marriage relationships which
are happy and can withstand the tests of time.
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