Risking for Love

The war in Ukraine has attracted mercenaries. I watched a television reporter at the Ukraine border ask three English men why they had travelled so far to fight someone else’s war. The first replied that he believed it was an honourable cause because he would be defending democracy. The second said he believed in Ukraine’s right to exist as a sovereign nation. The third argued that Putin’s expansionist armies needed to be stopped now rather than later. As if to clarify what he meant, he said he’d rather be defending his family and home on foreign soil than in British streets and towns. When asked by the reporter if they realised they could die fighting in Ukraine, they replied with nods. As they made ready to leave the interview, the third man added it was a risk he was prepared to take.

So, we can say these particular mercenaries were prepared to risk their lives for love of family and home, and the refined ideals of democracy and freedom.

Watching this story on my screen at the opposite ends of the earth, I was moved. It reminded me of other interviews I’d found emotionally stirring. Doctors, nurses, and other front-line workers during the worst of the Covid-19 pandemic were acutely aware of putting their own lives at risk to help sick patients. And many around the world did pay the ultimate price for love and belief in their profession.

Not all risk taking is deliberate and thoughtful. Sometimes people show they care by making spontaneous decisions to assist. An example of this behaviour circled the globe in a recent news bulletin. A man nearly drowned after diving into a storm swollen river to save a dog he didn’t even own. Clearly he was prepared to risk his life for love of animals. Another example are the heroes who intervene when they chance upon a robbery or a public display of domestic violence. These individuals display their principled love of justice and fairness.

Which brings me rather neatly to the topic of love development. We all learn at some stage or other that loving people or animals involves risk of loss. This is particularly true of modern couple relationships. There is no guarantee, at least in Western democracies, that the partner we love will choose to stay with us all the way to the grave. If we want romantic love, we have to be prepared to risk being emotionally hurt. However, not all risk is the same. The stronger and more passionate the love, the more likely it will cut deeply if it ends. That is why some lovers choose to walk away from the potential of great love before it even gets the chance to blossom. Nevertheless, I believe over the coming decades, more and more individuals will only be satisfied if they can achieve great love. They will more readily accept that risk taking is an integral part of love’s adventure. The skill of risk taking becomes easier and smarter as we grow self-awareness and resilience.

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